SSBBW Magazine's resident advice columnist
Hey there everyone. I'm Gabby, sister Bertha's northern cousin. I'm going to be taking your questions now. I hope I can be of help to all you amazing readers, so please don't hesitate to let me know what is bothering you.
Now keep sendin' in those letters to me at email@example.com and make sure you mark it Attention: Dear Gabby.
This months letters....
In private my boyfriend is living and affectionate and loves to hold hands and cuddle. But when out in public he never touches me and always walks a few feet ahead of me (that's if he can't come up with an excuse not to go out in the first place). What should I do?
Sweetheart, you need to have a heart to heart talk with that man of yours. It may be something as small as he doesn't like PDA's (public displays of affection). Whatever it is it needs to be addressed as it is affecting you.
Now we all know that guys don't like to talk much so try to approach this on his level. You don't want to come across as insecure or needy else he might say it is all in your head. Be cool and calm. Let him know how much you love how he is in private and then let him know how you feel when you're out and he acts as he does. He may have issues about what people might be thinking when they see the two of you together. If so, then it is his issue to work on and hopefully he will.
Above all, listen to your "voice" and do what is right for you. You are a beautiful person and deserve someone who will love you inside and out.
Good luck and love yourself, Gabby
My parents are always putting me down and telling me I'm too fat. They've stopped inviting me to family functions because I "don't need the temptation". I'm so hurt but when I try to tell them this they just tell me it's for my own good.
Your parents mean well but they just don't get it. You are a beautiful, intelligent person and you can make your own decisions about how you live your life. When they say "it's for your own good" try saying something like "how is constantly pointing out negative things supposed to be positive?" It's demeaning, lowers your opinion of yourself and you end up feeling like you always let them down.
Words do hurt and you start to believe them after awhile. If they don't respond to this then you may want to back off from them to give yourself time to heal and think. Be the best person you can be and nobody, not even your parents, can ask anything more from you.
Stay true to yourself, Gabby
Gabby, I have the most wonderful girlfriend. She's beautiful, funny and of course an SSBBW. I love every pound of her but she is so ashamed of how she looks she never leaves the house. I want to show her off to the world. I've told her this but she doesn't believe me.
Wow, you sound like a great guy!!
It can be very hard to get through to someone who doesn't see the positive things about themselves. It takes alot of energy on your part to always be the positive, nurturing one in a relationship. The way I see it, unfortunately, is that it is ultimately up to her to be open to loving herself for who she is right now and if she isn't happy then it's up to her, with your love and support, to change things for the better.
She should try to start with babysteps, change one small thing at a time, get comfortable with that and then try to change something else over time. It won't happen overnight but it can happen.
Try talking to her, ask her why she is ashamed and maybe you can work on the problem together. She is the only one who can change her opinion of herself. If she wants to she can write me and maybe I'll be able to help her directly.
Take care of yourself because if you don't you can't take care of anyone else.
Please let me know how things are going, Gabby.
Disclaimer: This advice is for fun and entertainment purposes only. It should not replace the advice of a qualified professional.