SSBBW Magazine's resident advice columnist
Hey there everyone. I'm Gabby, sister Bertha's northern cousin. I'm going to be taking your questions now. I hope I can be of help to all you amazing readers, so please don't hesitate to let me know what is bothering you.
Now keep sendin' in those letters to me at email@example.com and make sure you mark it Attention: Dear Gabby.
Hey everyone, it's me back from my sun-filled vacation. Well, I think there were more rainy days than sunny but the margaritas were plentiful and yummy.
While I was away I got an update from one of our previous questions. A reader had asked:
My parents are always putting me down and telling me I'm too fat. They've stopped inviting me to family functions because I "don't need the temptation". I'm so hurt but when I try to tell them this they just tell me it's for my own good.
My response was:
Your parents mean well but they just don't get it. You are a beautiful, intelligent person and you can make your own decisions about how you live your life. When they say "it's for your own good" try saying something like "how is constantly pointing out negative things supposed to be positive?" It's demeaning, lowers your opinion of yourself and you end up feeling like you always let them down.
Words do hurt and you start to believe them after awhile. If they don't respond to this then you may want to back off from them to give yourself time to heal and think. Be the best person you can be and nobody, not even your parents, can ask anything more from you.
She wrote back to me with the following:
"Gabby, I tried again to talk to my parents but they continued to have blinders on and couldn't be changed. I had to bite the bullet and tell them that I needed time away from them. I cut myself off totally from the family. After about 4 weeks my mom called me and wanted to talk. My parents finally realized what they had been putting me through. We were able to have an open-minded conversation. I told them I appreciate their love and understand their worry but their behavior was not helping. In fact it was hurting in that I ate my feelings with the sweets and chips. I was able to tell them the kind of support I required. And guess what!!?? Things have been great between us and I've lost 17 lbs!! Thank you so much Gabby."
Well I am so glad things worked out for this reader. The love and support of family is one of the best things to help us through bad times. Now it's time for me to work off the marguaritas and vacation food. Til next time, take care of yourselves.
Disclaimer: This advice is for fun and entertainment purposes only. It should not replace the advice of a qualified professional.