ACCEPTANCE

Self Acceptance and Society/Fat Acceptance

Self acceptance is loving and appreciating yourself even if there are things you'd eventually like to change. Fat acceptance or society acceptance is getting society as a whole to accept that we have the same rights as everyone else and to reduce prejudice within the community.

Got something you want to say about acceptance? Let us know at info@ssbbw-magazine.com.

My Journey to Self Acceptance

It was brought to my attention that there was something wrong with me in regards to my body size when I was 7 yrs old. It was just after school and my Mom picked me up, which was a rarity then. She told me to change my clothes in the car. I asked where we were going, and she said ‘You have a doctor’s appointment’ I said ‘But I feel fine’ then she went on to explain that I was gaining weight and she didn’t want me to die young like my father did 6 months before. So from that day onwards and many decades later I dealt with constant dieting failures, low self-esteem, low confidence, worthlessness and passivity. Even though my Mom meant well, her comments about my body sized hurt more than from a stranger. She would say things like ‘You’ll be so pretty if you lose weight’. I interpreted in my mind as ‘You’re ugly now, do something’ the worse comment she made was, ‘Linda, you’ll make me so happy if you lose weight’ so in my mind ‘Linda, you disappoint me’. These remarks continued until I was in my early thirties.

I learnt soon after moving to Winnipeg, MB that there was a Women’s Health Clinic and they had a program called ‘Weight Preoccupation” (WP). It was 5 yrs later that I finally called and registered for a 10 week group class. I had to go for a consultation with a Social Worker(SW) who specialized in WP. I basically told her that I’m sick and tired of feeling bad for my weight and even sicker of the constant dieting and feeling like a total worthless human being. My Mom used to say, ‘If you don’t do something about your weight, you’re going to be dead at 44 yrs like your father was’. Sometimes I would think being dead sounded like a good idea at times. I was never suicidal but I sure thought of it at times. The SW said the program was what I needed, and she wanted me to seek counseling one on one as well.

I went to the WP classes and it opened my eyes up. I started to see the world in a different light and the best one was I was starting to like myself. Sure I was still very obese but, I liked who I was for the first time in my 34 years of my life. Sure, I still had struggles but when you finally believe and have faith in yourself, it makes it easier to deal with the world around you. I had to learn to be more assertive and the day came one day when my Mom said one of her remarks, I really don’t recall what she said. I said, ‘Mom, you have to get over your dream of me every becoming thin. Also, it hurts me when you say ‘You make so happy if you lose weight’. I’m finally learning to accept myself, you may not agree with where I stand now, but that’s your problem(my sister had to tell me what I said as she was there) I remember talking to her, but I just can’t recall word for word. Anyways, my relationship with my Mom was even stronger after that.

Now 15 years later my journey continues and I have weeded out some people in my life that don’t support me, family included too, sadly. I don’t need that negativity anymore. I’m more assertive and feel confident to request if a certain place I go to has a sturdy chair without arms, etc. I’m no longer ashamed of expressing my needs or opinions. I’m not a doormat anymore.

I wanted to share my story with any SSBBW/BBW’s women or men who struggle with the same issues as I did. We have to become our own advocates at times as it may be hard to find the advocate in others. Self Acceptance is in many ways, becoming an advocate for YOU. Don’t give up and stand up for yourself. Believe in yourself. Seek counseling if needed, but make sure they are trained in size acceptance/body image. Diet is a four letter word, FAT isn’t.

Written and submitted by: Linda Mayoh

SSBBW Magazine is sponsoring a child...

Mateta Through World Vision Canada, SSBBW Magazine is sponsoring 5 year old Mateta Nsimba from Democratic Republic of Congo. Mateta Nsimba was born the same month as our magazine (February). Mateta lives with her parents in a poor area. Her father is self-employed but his earnings are barely enough to provide for his family. Her mother stays at home caring for her family. As we receive updates on Mateta Nsimba we will post them here for all of you. If you want to help towards the cost of sponsorship or to help us purchase gifts for other communities in need around the world be it water filters, goats, or even soccer balls then please click on the PayPal button below.

Each month we'll list those who contributed to this great cause. If you do not wish your name to be posted please email us at info@ssbbw-magazine.com. Thank you.

"Having traveled with World Vision to Africa, I've seen the difference these gifts can make. The impact on children and families is truly immeasurable. Please consider making a difference in the lives of people who truly need our help, because you can trust me, it's worth every penny."- Tom Cochrane, Singer

October 2009 - Thank you to Mary C. for her donation of $20 towards our sponsored child.

November 2009 UPDATE - We received a letter from Mateta,

"Dear Sponsor,

Thank you for accepting me as your sponsored girl. I am Nsimba Mateta, I live with my parents, my brothers and my sister. I like eating chicken with rice and playing with my dolls. As I can't yet write a letter by myself, Mu. Lucien Pongo, member of the local structure of management has helped me but I make a drawing for you. How do you like it? Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Your sponsored girl, Nsimba Mateta

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