AN FAs VIEW
FAs (Fat Admirers) and their views, thoughts and issues
What is is like being an FA in today's society. What are the joys of living/being with an SSBBW. Are there drawbacks? Let us know at email@example.com.
To see a list of previous profiles, click here.
February 2008 - We profiled a special man who found love last year.
A 31-year old named Dargan
SSBBW Magazine: How long have you been an FA?
FA: The best answer I can give is "far longer than I have known what an FA is." The second person on TV I ever had a crush on was Natalie from the Facts of Life. (The first was Velma from Scooby Doo, she's skinny, but she's animated so that doesn't really count.) I've never dated a thin woman, but at the same time I have dated some that certainly were not supersized, and I have and would never reject a woman based solely on appearance.
SSBBW Magazine: Have you always been open with family/friends about being attracted to large women or did you try to hide it?
FA: If you knew my family you would understand why I have never really had a discussion with them about what kind of women I am attracted to. I am a fairly private person, and at the same time I feel no need to justify myself and my attractions to anyone. Therefore I can't say I've been out there trumpeting that I like large women, but I have never tried to hide it either, nor have I been ashamed of or tried to hide any of the beautiful SSBBW's I have been with.
SSBBW Magazine: What attracts you to ssbbw?
FA: While I can neither deny nor explain the physical attractions I feel (I'll be honest, I like large breasts ;), most of the reasons I love larger women are inside their heads. I have found that large women are less judgmental, less vain, less arrogant, less self-centered, kinder, and more honest than your average woman. They also tend to have richer, more intelligent interests and not be flighty types worried about shallow, societal concerns and what others think of them.
SSBBW Magazine: What is your ideal woman?
FA: Cecilia fits my ideal almost perfectly (she could have been rich and owned a horse farm, but I shouldn't be greedy)
SSBBW Magazine: What are the joys of being with an ssbbw?
FA: Never having to hear "does this make me look fat?" lol. The joys of being with a person come from that person's own characteristics, especially when you get to know each other as deeply as Cecilia and I. The things I love about her have nothing specific to do with her being an SSBBW, but being one has shaped her and made her who she is. I guess I would refer back to the same qualities I wrote about on the question about attraction.
SSBBW Magazine: What are the drawbacks?
FA: There are very few things we have not been able to do because of her size, nor has that been my experience previously. Such things as having to pay more attention to the size of restaurant seats or walking more slowly to keep pace with her are miniscule compared to the positives.
SSBBW Magazine: If your woman wanted to have weight loss surgery would you support her? Stay with her?
FA: I would never leave a woman I loved because she lost weight, period. However, I do have grave doubts about that surgery. My ex-wife had weight loss surgery (this had nothing to do with her becoming my ex.) I supported her at the time, took care of her, etc. The surgery was not only very painful and left her with fairly severe physical scars, but it also caused a great deal of emotional and psychological damage. I certainly mean no offense by this, but for most people who are very large, food plays an important psychological role in their lives. Not being able to eat for several weeks, and never again being able to eat as you like are huge events to cope with, and if food was your primary coping mechanism, it simply can't be done effectively. My ex became a completely different person, and I wasn't the only one who noticed. I would not presume to tell people not to have surgery, but I would suggest to anyone contemplating it to make sure they think about the psychological effects as well as the physical.
SSBBW Magazine: If your woman was unable to leave the house or needed constant care and help because of her size, would you be there for her?
FA: Absolutely, I would be there for her in the event of any kind of health issue, size-based or not.
SSBBW Magazine: Is there such a thing too big?
FA: This is something that each person has to find out for themselves. I would think most people would have a limit above which they would not be comfortable and happy, but that varies with the person. As far as attraction, I have never necessarily felt that bigger and bigger and bigger is always better... once a certain threshhold is reached, many other factors contribute to what I would be attracted to. In other words, as long as she's a big girl I might be attracted, but specific weight numbers don't mean anything to me.
SSBBW Magazine: What would you like to say to all the SSBBWs reading this?
FA: Love yourself first. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin, and know that doing that is often as difficult for thin people as it is for you. Your large bodies are very beautiful, but you deserve attention, love, and affection for what is inside you. Look for that person who loves you for all of you, inside and out. Such relationships do exist, and you deserve them as much as anyone else.
SSBBW Magazine: What would you like to say to all the FAs reading this?
FA: Be good to your lovely ladies, treat them well, don't give the rest of us a bad name. If you only want a woman because she's fat, you're no better than someone who only wants one whose skinny. Big girls are real people, and should be treated as human beings. Go ahead and flaunt the fact that you like them, that's cool, but don't treat them as objects. Sorry if that's a bit harsh, but don't we want to make this a real community and not just some kind of porn fetish?
SSBBW Magazine: What would you like to say to those just reading this out of curiosity about the SSBBW / FA community?
FA: Just to basically live and let live, don't judge people solely on looks. Like I said above, there may be a few unsavory hangers on, but most of us really are creating a positive community. Please don't define us as a fetish, and don't think we're only about sex.
SSBBW Magazine: Thank you Dargan.