AN FAs VIEW
FAs (Fat Admirers) and their views, thoughts and issues
What is is like being an FA in today's society. What are the joys of living/being with an SSBBW. Are there drawbacks? Let us know at email@example.com.
To see a list of previous profiles, click here.
May 2010 our FA was Geoff, a 46 year old
SSBBW Magazine: How long have you been an FA?
FA: Really at about 6 or 7 years old is my earliest recollection of a fat girl who lived behind our house in Royal Oak, MI. I was just fascinated by her body, but of course didn't know why. My mother once mentioned that my paternal grandfather would admire fat women. I guess I have that gene.
Like most young men growing up, my family, and friends made fun of overweight people. I remember one of my uncles saying that if his wife ever got fat he would divorce her! I couldn't believe anyone could be this cruel and to even say it was inexcuseable. I myself have always been a little overweight and have experienced some of this abuse.
What I realized later in life is that most men were insecure about their attraction to fat women due to societal pressures. I noticed that men would draw attention to fat women so that it gave them an excuse to look at the women without their friends making fun of them. I am sure I was guilty of this a few times. It was not until the existence of the internet that I discovered that there were many people like me. I found that the more I read and visited websites such as yours, the more I was comfortable with the idea of dating an ssbbw and realized that I needed to make myself happy and not worry about what made others happy.
I have been dating SSBBWs exclusively over the last 10-15 years.
SSBBW Magazine: Have you always been open with family/friends about being attracted to large women or did you try to hide it?
FA: I hid it for the reasons mentioned above. I am basically a shy person and have never been one to crave a lot of attention. One seems to get a lot of attention when dating an ssbbw. I found that later, I really enjoyed the attention because it was a coming out, of sorts. It was saying to the world that I didn't care what others thought and that it was an expression of ab appreciation for a type of beauty that I find attractive.
SSBBW Magazine: What attracts you to SSBBWs?
FA: I guess it's all about the jiggle! LOL! More importantly, I have found that most SSBBWs and BBWs have been treated poorly most of their lives, and as such are not as narcissistic as the sterotypical high school cheerleader. I have found most to be very nice, caring, interesting people. These traits being the soundest bases on which to build a relationship.
SSBBW Magazine: What is your ideal woman?
FA: If you mean size, I guess I find women who are 400 to 600 pounds the most attractive. I tend to find taller women more attractive, even though I am of medium height myself. I'm a sucker for brunettes, but have dated a number of blond ssbbws. Aside from that, the more important traits are politeness, intelligence, interests, hobbies, education, a professional career. If they like jazz, it is a plus, since I am a part time jazz musician. None of these individual traits is a deal breaker, however.
SSBBW Magazine: What are the joys of being with an ssbbw?
FA: Geez, this is getting embarassing! I think my earlier statement still holds! I have found that most have really nice, caring, and sensitive personalities. That counts for a lot, really.
SSBBW Magazine: What are the drawbacks?
FA: Well, it takes a little more planning to go to restaurants and go to events to find comfortable seating. These are things that one must anticipate and be cognizant of when dating an ssbbw. I have had to buy seat belt extensions for my car, but this is a minor inconvenience. Traveling can be a challenge, so again, one has to do good planning.
I get tired of seeing my friends and families faces when my dates are first introduced. I have learned to anticipate and ignore the comments. I have had to explain that everyone has their preferences, and have even pointed out to a few female relatives and friends that they seem to find bald men attractive! That usually shuts them up. :)
I often look staring strangers in the eye and say "hello" to them to make them realize that we are all humans. Weird that we have to even consider or talk about any of this stuff, isn't it?
I always say when people ask me why I like ssbbws, I always retort that people never tell men they are weird when they like statistically normal sized women with large breasts, so why can't the whole woman be large?!!??
SSBBW Magazine: If your woman wanted to have weight loss surgery would you support her? Stay with her?
FA: Actually, my last dear partner had the surgery and lost about 150 pounds. She had to in order to have a kidney transplant. Unfortunately, she eventually died of complications due to kidney failure and dialysis. It has been a real loss and hard to believe she is gone. We all have to move on and keep our memories.
I did support her in this. I found her more attractive at her 520 pounds, but a loved one's health is the most important consideration. My relationships have always been based on much more than the physical. Having mutual interests, senses of humor, attitudes, mutual repect and caring are always more important.
SSBBW Magazine: If your woman was unable to leave the house or needed constant care and help because of her size, would you be there for her?
FA: Yes, of course and I was, although her situation was not that difficult.
SSBBW Magazine: Is there such a thing too big?
FA: Health and mobility are important considerations to me, anyway. Folks who act on having a feeder mentality merely for their own pleasure certainly do not have the welfare of their partner in mind, which I think is sadistic.
SSBBW Magazine: What would you like to say to all the SSBBWs reading this?
FA: I would say, keep trying to meet someone. Take care of your physical and mental health. Spend time with people who celebrate your size (the BBWnorthwest.com group in Seattle is an example). Don't waste time with people who are downers, or make fun of others. Life is too short and there are too many others out there. Fortunately with the internet it is much easier to meet people than it used to be.
SSBBW Magazine: What would you like to say to all the FAs reading this?
FA: Everything above applies. Be with those that make YOU happy. The others are a waste of time.
SSBBW Magazine: What would you like to say to those just reading this out of curiosity about the SSBBW / FA community?
FA: Get to know fat people (as well as those of every other "stripe" in the world). We are all intelligent, interesting, have dreams, opinions, and skills. Help everyone to be their best.
If if anyone is interested in contacting Geoff, he can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
SSBBW Magazine: Thank you Geoff.