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"Large women are less judgmental, less vain, less arrogant, less self-centered, kinder, and more honest than your average woman." ~ Dargan [FA]



THE FUNNY BONE

Tasteful jokes and comics

Know a good tasteful joke? Seen a funny cartoon/comic by or about SSBBW/BBW that made you laugh? Let us know at info@ssbbw-magazine.com.


  1. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain
  2. My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years. - Paul Merton
  3. I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. - Woody Allen
  4. My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section. - Norm Crosby
  5. Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
  6. I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopaedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra
  7. In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from the smallest to the tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower? - Warren Hutcherson
  8. You learn something every day if you pay attention. - Ray LeBlond Mother misses children!
  9. In youth we learn; in age we understand - Von Ebner-Eschenbach
  10. If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

I'm Late For School

I got up late for school today,
And nearly missed the bus!
I hurried down the stairs,
Wolfed my toast, and caused a fuss!

I quickly threw books in my bag,
My pens, my lunch and shorts.
Grabbed my coat from out the cupboard,
Took my bat and ball for sports.

I slid across the kitchen floor,
And hopped around the cat!
Then expertly rolled over,
Jumped back up and grabbed my hat!

I belted out of our front door,
Spun round and swung it shut.
Saw the bus was waiting for me,
I felt I had time to strut!

I climbed aboard and then froze still,
And knew that things weren't right!
My friends fell down in fits of fun,
And pointed with delight!

My face went red, I couldn't breathe,
For in my haste I knew!
I'd forgotten to wear trousers,
Jumper, shirt, my socks and shoes!

Written in 2003 by Gareth Lancaster



"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools."
~Author Unknown
"Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed."
~Robert Gallagher

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